Articles

just smile and wave, boys

In stories on April 8, 2007 by carinasuyin

Imagine this:

A car cuts suddenly into your lane without signaling, causing you to hit the brakes and blast the car horn. The driver shows you his middle finger and proceeds to road hog by driving at 60 kmph when everyone on the road are going at least at 80. Instead of yelling expletives and getting all mad with him, you coolly reach for the beloved gadget on your dashboard. It looks just like any ordinary car alarm remote except that on the blue and red buttons were the gender signs for male and female. You aim the remote at the car in front and press the red Mars button, emitting two cute little beeps. You proceed to overtake the car and as you pass it, you flash its driver your sweetest smile and perhaps a little wave. A few seconds later, you glance at your rear view mirror and notice a panicked look on the idiot behind. You place the BallShrinker 24 back on your dashboard and remark aloud how lovely the skies are today!

Note: The BallShrinker 24 shrinks the testicles of male targets and only one breast of female ones. Temporary shrinkage remains in effect for only 24 hours, sizes and function return to normal thereafter. Studies have shown that testicle shrinkage in males promotes more blood flow to the brains as well as cause temporary erectile dysfunction. Besides its pyschological effect on the ego and pride, there are no reported significant side-effects on female targets. According to road transport authorities, courtesy and alertness levels among road users increased by 50% especially among those zapped more than three times in a month. Non-fatal vehicle accidents attributed to road rage and bad driving habits decreased by 20% since the introduction of the gadget. However, illegal use of the BallShrinker 24 on dumb politicians and alleged abuse of the gadget by jilted lovers are being investigated. Hailed as possibly the most useful invention of the century, the BallShrinker 24 continues to revolutionize the way we drive.

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11 Responses to “just smile and wave, boys”

  1. i’m placing an order for 5 of them BS 24s (for me, me sis, me bro and his wife and one spare!). how long will it take before it gets delivered to me?

    in the meantime, i’m using the public transportation.

  2. Muahahaha 😀

  3. where can i lay my hands on one of these?

  4. can i be your official supplier and wholesaler? i’ve got a bunch of gf’s which will die to have a dozen of BallShrinker 24 🙂

  5. Wah this is very the bagus punya response. Supra and I will continue to tweak the prototype and inform you guys when our product is ready for its nationwide (err, make that global!) launch, hee 😀

    In the meantime, when someone pisses you off on the road, just imagine a BallShrinker 24 in your hand. The mere thought of ball(s) shrinking can be very gleeful 🙂

  6. if this goes global no one will be safe from it. NO ONE!!!

  7. Haha… We’re working on making its action as specific and as much abuse-proof as possible 🙂

  8. you’re cruel under your sweet innocent demeanor huh? but very funny….hahahahahaha 🙂

  9. Hee… glad you liked it!

  10. Hi, someone will tell you who am i. Anyway, that’s the sweetest evil idea i’ve ever heard (though weird). However, i’d like one please.
    P.S. god knows the road i go through are full of…smart people (well, you know what i mean).

  11. Hee… thanks! Supra shall keep you informed on our R&D progress 🙂

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