Articles

chronic conversations

In conversations, stories on November 1, 2006 by carinasuyin

For the life of me, I cannot fathom why when somebody sitting next to you in a bus is reading a book while wearing her sunnies and earphones, you’d still try your very best to engage her in some small talk whenever possible. Instead of dozing off on a hot afternoon, she’s obviously lost in those pages and the music she’s listening to. I wonder which part of her body language tells you that she’s bored and she’d like to get to know you better. Perhaps you’re getting funny ideas from the Hitch movie that’s showing onboard or that you’re encouraged by her polite but short responses. Or maybe, of all things, you find yourself intrigued or attracted(uwekkk…) and proceeds to share with her the following:

  • how surprised you are that PC.com magazine is so interesting(after browsing through it for ten minutes);
  • a demonstration of how your portable GPS navigator works (which you had stuck onto the bus window screen complete with the voice prompter turned on i.e. annoying) and how you’re very much into gadgets;
  • assuming that she’s a first year undergraduate, and with that she’d be more than half your age younger (you also declare proudly that you’re a graduate from a Singapore university)
  • how you are unaware of other SIN-KL express coach services other than those hopeless ones operating from the Golden Mile Complex;
  • that you are into cycling, both road and off-road and that you’re looking for some ways to mount your GPS gadget onto your bike (she then asks you is there really a need for GPS while cycling in Bukit Timah or also around Singapore generally; she thinks the idea of staring into a jiggling LCD screen while cycling is weird);
  • the last fiction book you read was that very famous book about Christianity which you found so `deep’ and `heavy’ that you could barely read a few pages before surrendering (she asks you if you’re refering to The Da Vinci Code to which you exclaim in shock when she says it’s an easy read; upon seeing your reaction, she wished she guessed the Bible instead);
  • how surprised you were that you are able to manually search for a local network on your mobile phone when on roaming (she wonders if she misheard that you were into gadgets and all that techie stuff).


and asking her questions like these:

  • “You read a lot, don’t you?” (Repeat question when she doesn’t hear you because she’s wearing earphones.)
  • When she’s adjusting her iPod mini’s volume higher: “Is that an iPod nano? It’s the latest, isn’t it?” (Proceed to explain you’re not into mp3 players because you have a PDA.)
  • “Are you on school holidays now?” (She already mentioned that she’s not an undergraduate) followed half an hour later by “So, your final exams are over? You must be going back for your holidays.”
  • “If you don’t mind, can I have your phone number?” (She offers to give her e-mail address instead and regrets not saying point blank that she minds.)
  • “Do you have a pen and a piece of paper?” (She wonders why you can’t just use your multi-purpose PDA. You give her your bus ticket stub and then make this statement as she scribbles her e-mail address: “You look scared. Please don’t be afraid, it’s just that I’ve taken this bus so many times and I’ve never met anyone who is so intellectually different from me. So I’d like to keep in touch. I will definitely e-mail you when I’m back in Singapore.”)
  • When the bus reaches its destination after the agonizing ten minutes that lapsed since you asked for her phone number: “Does the LRT actually work? I mean, is it really functioning? People use it?” (points to the nearby LRT station.)

Relating all these to Evie, the veteran ‘uncle, married man and ahpek‘-magnet laughed and laughed and laughed with such glee, you’d think she struck the lottery. Haihhhh… why can’t I ever sit next to a cute young guy with reasonable intelligence/social skills without feeling that I want to hantuk kepala against the window? Yes Evie, ngo tou yau kam yatt

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8 Responses to “chronic conversations”

  1. wakaka… hilarious giler!

    She offers to give her e-mail address instead…
    – u are too nice lar… dun have to be so nice geh. better practice the ‘yikes, what a creep!’ expression for future convenience!

    …I’ve never met anyone who is so intellectually different from me.
    – at which u should comment, “u mean everyone u’ve met up until now are as unintelligent as u? gosh, how sad!” and proceeds to give him the ‘yikes, what a creep!’ look.

    “Does the LRT actually work? I mean, is it really functioning? People use it?” (points to the nearby LRT station.)
    – gosh, wat a snob! i wish i’d met him, then i can tell him, “no, it doesn’t work actually. it’s for show only lar, to fool ppl from other countries that we’re more advanced that we really are. u see those ppl going in and out of the station? they’re all convicts doing ‘public services’ by acting as commuters. u know, to get merit points lar. u better not go near the stations, if not the gov will force u to be one of those ‘walkers’ as well! they’re always short of ppl…” it’ll be good to practice the ‘it’s true, u better believe it’ expression also!

  2. Hi sue! Yeah man, I’ve got to work on those expressions or else tidur mati the next time I encounter such a character. P/s: He is Malaysian šŸ˜›

  3. Hahhaaa…this is outrageously hilarious!

    Next time you bump into someone like that, you could ask him to go and get himself a screwdriver šŸ™‚

  4. No lah… so tak baik! I’ll just stick a “Do not disturb” sign onto my side of the window screen hehe…

  5. Oh… these are the common ah pek pick up techniques?

    But I’m surprised you gave him your email address, though. Any interesting emails yet? šŸ˜‰

  6. Sigh… next time will not be so nice lah. Yeah, his phone number and an invitation for coffee :S

  7. You should have created a ‘new’ email address that may not exist. At the same time, make it look like it was created by someone intelligent šŸ™‚

    I hope he doesn’t google your email and find this here..

  8. Nolah Tim, so menyusahkan… if he chances upon the blog, let’s hope he’s enlightened a bit :P–>

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